


Drowning Lessons

by Kanginsthighs



Series: Beautiful Pain [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Death, Did i mention DEATH, Gang AU, Guilt, Gun Fight, Heartbreak, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of drugs, Nice cops, Some Fluff, Some humour, Stabbing, Violence, civilian youngwoon, gang member hyukjae, mostly hyukjae centric, sad hyukjae, some of the tagged characters are just briefly mentioned, supportive youngwoon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanginsthighs/pseuds/Kanginsthighs
Summary: "Let’s run away then," He said simply, a smile dancing on his lips. Hyukjae sighed, a hopeful smiling developing on his own face."It’s not that easy, you know,""We can make it easy,"---Hyukjae was young and stupid when he decided to join the gang and now he wants out. He fears for Youngwoon's safety though.





	1. He, too, grieves

He sighed looking at the smoking gun in his hand. He had done it again. This life was exhausting but was there really a way to run away from it? It was all he knew. The boss would kill him if he tried to run away anyway.

He fell to his knees, breathing heavily and unable to look at the body tied to the chair. His eyes were still opened wide, mouth covered by tape. Another weight had been added to his shoulders. He didn’t have any tears left to cry for these poor people. His partner kneeled beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder, "come on, Hyukjae, let’s leave this for the cleaning team... Let’s go…"

His partner stood up and held a hand for Hyukjae to take. "This doesn’t get any easier, Hae," Hyukjae sighed, taking Donghae’s hand to help himself up. He couldn’t bear to look back at the cold, lifeless body on the chair. Donghae patted his back softly as they head out of the room. It was more of an enclosure in a sick circus... a place where his boss kept his victims and played with them until he ordered his men to get rid of them. His men — men like Hyukjae and Donghae — were his toys that couldn’t run away without facing the consequences. Their families and their friends were at risk of perishing at the hands of their boss.

His loved ones... Hyukjae’s mind would often run wild with thoughts of his loved ones in danger if he ever tried to leave the gang. His tie suddenly felt way too tight around his neck. His parents, his sister... even him. He undid his tie, but the choking feeling didn’t go away. It never did.

If only he had never joined this gang, maybe his boyfriend could live a normal life and maybe he wouldn’t have had to send his family overseas and he wouldn’t have to constantly lie to them. But he had been desperate for money to help pay his sister’s medical bills when she fell ill. Being young and stupid, he took any odd job that he could find on the streets. When the boss had recruited him, he didn’t hesitate to accept his offer after seeing the amount of money he would earn. How foolish. His sister’s treatments were covered, but at what cost? His own life and freedom.

"Hey," Donghae’s voice broke his trance and he refocused on the man beside him, "you can leave now if you want, okay? I’ll report back to the boss… I’m sure he won’t mind." Hyukjae was grateful for his friend, although he still felt guilty leaving Donghae to face their boss alone. Before he could even turn his offer down, Donghae pushed him towards the path to the exit. "Leave now before I take it back," He chuckled as Hyukjae pushed him slightly. "Alright, alright… see you tomorrow, dumbass." Hyukjae laughed softly as he walked away from his partner, trusting he would handle the boss as well as he always does. He’s lucky to have a partner like Donghae.

Walking out of the building didn’t lift the weight from his shoulders — it never did. Every step ached but he couldn’t feel bad for himself. It was bizarre but he did this to himself. _How did you fuck up this badly, Lee Hyukjae?_ was a thought that often crossed his mind on his ride home every single day. His mind was a constant whirlpool of regrets and guilt, combined with the images of those he had once stripped from their life.

He didn’t mind getting home as late as he did, considering he had all morning for himself. This was the perk of having a night job. He laughed bitterly to himself and he hit steering wheel while at a red light. "I want to stop," he whispered to the lonely silence of the night, his only companion before he got home to _that_ warm embrace. The love he never truly feels he deserves but he somehow has. _What a lucky bastard_. He doesn’t deserve a person like Youngwoon, especially after all the sins he has committed in the name of his boss’ twisted sense of justice.

Justice? What truly is that? The gang is evil and the police are crooked, so is there truly any justice out there? The innocent suffer while the evil thrive. Hyukjae’s heart feels heavier knowing that he is one of the evils that plague the city and is the reason the innocent have to cry their tears filled with sorrow, misery and despair. But he too grieves for those he has killed and terrorised. He prays to whichever deity is listening to forgive him for his sins. Does he really deserve that forgiveness which he desires?

He got lost in his thoughts once more, he didn’t even realise he just reached his apartment’s front door. Youngwoon was probably already asleep since it was already 2 am. He punched the code on his keypad not even bothering to look at it, just wanting to get inside as soon as possible. He trudged inside with his heavy steps and just admired his dark apartment only illuminated by the lights coming from the sleeping city down below. The silence is too much to take sometimes. Hyukjae took off his shoes and threw his suit jacket on to the couch, making his way toward his room.

Being careful not to make too much noise, he opened the door to find a sleeping Youngwoon with his back to the door. As soon as his eyes landed on Youngwoon, he felt at home and maybe the heaviness felt less of a burden, or maybe he just was distracted from it — either way, he was glad to have a break from the never-ending sadness.

His thoughts continued to wander to happier times as he undressed and got ready for bed silently. Whenever Youngwoon wasn’t awake things got weirdly silent. Rather than serene, it felt like drowning. Hyukjae looked at himself in the mirror and didn’t recognize his own face; the youth had been washed away by years of wrongdoings. Where had the once proud young man gone? The man with a grin adorning his face every day? He was lost somewhere in between all the blood and desperation.

Lately, he had been too unfocused on his surroundings, getting lost in the sea of memories and sorrow he calls his mind way too often. As he laid in bed and felt an arm wrap around his waist, his mind focused on one thing only: the warm feeling of belonging. "Welcome back, I missed you," Youngwoon’s half asleep voice was right by his ear and Hyukjae couldn’t help but turn around and nuzzle closer to his chest. "I missed you too," his tired voice answered while his weary eyes closed, letting the warmth emanating from Youngwoon envelop him.

"You had no choice…"

"… I did, I always do,"

"Don’t do this to yourself, Hyukjae,"

"..."

"I love you,"

"I love you too,"

Suddenly it was silent again. Hyukjae’s thoughts were running wild but his body had had enough. He fell asleep quickly — he rarely does. He had no nightmares plaguing his sleep — he rarely does. His last conscious thoughts, however, were all about Youngwoon, just like usual. Tomorrow would be yet another day of despicable work and he knew it.

In the morning, before Youngwoon had to leave for work, Hyukjae brought it up once again. Just like he had done for the past two years. "I want to stop, I can’t take it anymore," He didn’t have to explain what he was referring to because Youngwoon knew. He always knew. "Let’s run away then," He said simply, a smile dancing on his lips. Hyukjae sighed, a hopeful smiling blooming on his own face.

"It’s not that easy, you know,"

"We can make it easy,"

The determination in Youngwoon’s words stirred up something dormant in Hyukjae’s spirit — something that had been hidden by the fear of what stopping meant. He found himself laughing like he did when they were younger and unafraid. Youngwoon laughed along, planting a kiss on Hyukjae’s forehead as he felt the laughter had died down. "Think about it… I’ll be heading out," Youngwoon whispered softly looking into his eyes. With that, he was out and the apartment felt cold one more.

His sun had left but his words remained. _We can make it easy_. Although it would not be easy, it was time to make a change. He spent the entire morning thinking about ways to leave the gang life, not much of those ways guaranteed that Hyukjae would live. Shouldn’t he just tell the boss? that man is the definition of cruelty, he would add Hyukjae and Youngwoon to his sick collection of tortured souls. This was harder than he had expected.

Hyukjae continued to think hard about a plan that guaranteed at least that Youngwoon would live, even at work. In front of the boss. While getting orders to execute someone. Entering said room. All that Hyukjae could think about was how to get out. Those thoughts were momentarily interrupted by the muffled crying of the tied up woman and the sound of his gun going off.

He sighed looking at the smoking gun in his hand. He had done it again. This life was exhausting but was there really a way to run away from it? Maybe so. Maybe it was worth trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so i have been dying to write angst for the past couple of weeks and inspiration finally struck!!  
> so i hope y'all enjoy this v much!!  
> the title is literally a song by mcr  
> dedicated to my fellow kanghyuks uwu


	2. Lee Sungmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You’ll take this job wether you like it or not."

The boss had called for him. He was sitting in his old leather chair, leaning back with his arms crossed just like usual. The man was looking directly at Hyukjae’s soul with his deep dark gaze. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his worn wooden desk. There were papers neatly stacked in different piles everywhere and Hyukjae had a gut feeling that they were related to why he was called here. His right hand man stood silently behind him, arms behind his back and his murderous gaze locked on Hyukjae. These two didn’t have a scary appearance in Hyukjae’s opinion — what they were capable of is what truly terrified him.

Cho Kyuhyun was cold and blood thirsty. He built his empire on bodies and suffering, enjoying each second of it. He didn’t mind getting his own hands dirty — in fact, he loved it and would often torture his victims himself with the assistance of Ryeowook. Kim Ryeowook, Kyuhyun’s trusty right hand, was an enigma to Hyukjae. He was silent but, whenever he spoke up, his sharp tongue would hurt anyone. He looked innocent but took joy in what Hyukjae despised doing. He was a great actor and would often gain people’s trust easily to get what he wanted. Cho Kyuhyun and Kim Ryeowook were two men you would never want to cross.

Kyuhyun ran a hand through his slicked-back brown hair and heaved a sigh. "Good evening, Hyukjae" He finally spoke and Hyukjae felt as if he was a rabbit in front of a hunter with nowhere to run to. He thought about the worst: maybe the boss found out that he was planning on leaving the gang. "Good evening, Mr. Cho," Hyukjae responded, the nervousness he felt inside concealed by a mask of professionalism and rehearsed respect, "Good evening, Ryeowook." Said man just nodded at him as a greeting.

"I have a job for you, regarding what happened last month…" Kyuhyun said simply, without having to explain himself. Of course Hyukjae knew what had happened last month… everyone in the gang knew — hell, everyone in the city probably knew too at this point. A small group of men from his gang were sent on a simple mission to retrieve a payment in exchange for some drugs. The trade went well until a group of cops busted and captured them. The men were currently serving jail time for possession of drugs, or something along the lines is what Hyukjae had heard. He hasn’t been paying much attention to what has been happening with the gang.

Ryeowook walked up to Hyukjae and handed him a pristine looking file with the information on a man by the name of Lee Sungmin. As soon as he returned to his position behind the boss, Hyukjae started to look through the file as he normally would. "I want you to follow this cop… _Lee Sungmin_ …" Kyuhyun began, his voice full of what could only be described as disgust as he pronounced said man’s name, "This man and his partner, Shin Donghee, were the cops that busted _my_ men. This isn’t the first time Mr. Lee has arrested some of my men either. Frankly, I could just order his kidnapping but I don’t want to draw any unnecessary attention, you see." Cho Kyuhyun is a very sadistic man but he’s also very intelligent — he doesn’t want to risk his empire.

"The reason why I want you to follow Lee Sungmin is simple: I just want to make sure he doesn’t know about the existence of the gang. If he does, then I want you to bring him here as quietly as possible. If he doesn’t, then leave him be. Understood?" He raised his eyebrows at Hyukjae, who carefully closed the file and looked back at his boss.

"Mr. Cho, I’d love to take on this mission but you know stealth isn’t really my forte," He sighed and Ryeowook raised his eyebrow. _When was the last time Lee Hyukjae had accepted a mission without any hesitation?_ He thought to himself as Hyukjae continued to talk, "why not send Jongwoon? He is better at stealthy missions, sir." "He has been assigned another cop to follow, and so has Donghae," Kyuhyun sighed, eyebrows furrowed, "you’ll take this job wether you like it or not."

 _Wether you like it or not_ … this is has been a recurring theme in Hyukjae’s life for nearly ten years now. It feels like forever since he was 19 and free. Maybe it _has_ been forever. "Alright, sir. I’ll take the job." "Good. Go home and have some rest, tomorrow you’ll start following Mr. Lee Sungmin." And with that he was dismissed and out of Kyuhyun’s office, with a headache so bad he wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep tonight.

Once Hyukjae was out of the office, Ryeowook sat down in front of Kyuhyun. "When was the last time Lee Hyukjae has accepted any job you’d assigned him without turning it down first?" He spoke finally, legs crossed and leaning back comfortably on his chair. Kyuhyun sat there, thinking about Ryeowook’s question seriously. "It has been years if I’m not wrong…" Kyuhyun answered playing with pen he had taken from his desk.

"Isn’t it suspicious?"

"It is. Where are you going with this, Ryeowook?"

"Maybe it’s time to investigate Lee Hyukjae and the man that lives with him."

"Perhaps it is. Let us wait until he is done with this job and I’ll make a decision."

"As you wish, Kyuhyun," The smaller man shrugged, then proceeded to write down _Lee Hyukjae_ in a post-it and pasting it in one of the corners of Kyuhyun’s desk. "I won’t forget that easy," He chuckled as he looked at Ryeowook’s handwriting. "It’s better to be safe than sorry," Ryeowook said smiling at Kyuhyun.

———

"I’m back," Hyukjae announced as he threw himself into Youngwoon’s arms in the couch. "Welcome back," Youngwoon said just to humor him, as he caressed his hair gently. It has been a while since Hyukjae has been able to come home early and have dinner with him. "What’s the occasion?" Youngwoon asked as Hyukjae made himself comfortable on top of his chest. "What do you mean? What occasion?" Hyukjae asked confused and looking up at him, chin propped up on his chest lazily.

"Why are you home so early? What happened at work?"

"I was assigned a job starting tomorrow and the boss wanted me to rest, I guess."

"I’m glad you’re here. What’s the job?"

"I got to follow a cop, that’s it." Hyukjae laid his head back down on Youngwoon’s chest as he continued to explain what the job was about. Youngwoon listened patiently, playing with Hyukjae’s soft black locks as he hummed here and there. The job sounded easy enough but it still worried him since it involved a police officer. _A police officer_ … Youngwoon sat up, startling Hyukjae in the process. "A police officer!" He exclaimed laughing, almost as if he had discovered a gold mine. He smacked Hyukjae’s shoulder as he continued to laugh, his eyes were shining bright.

"Ouch? What’s so funny anyway?" Hyukjae asked, one eyebrow up as he rubbed his shoulder. "Hyukjae, you can try and befriend this cop." Youngwoon grabbed Hyukjae’s hands and before he could protest, he continued. "It sounds weird but maybe he can help you take down the gang, you know. He can be your backup! Think about it!"

Hyukjae sat there in silence staring at Youngwoon who seemed way too excited about this whole 'befriend the cop' thing. But then it hit him — maybe he was right. If he worked with the police, he could not only get out safely but also take down the gang. If he was lucky, he could even get his sentence cut short a few years. It was honestly perfect.

"You’re a genius, baby!" Hyukjae hugged Youngwoon tight and kissed his nose. "I know, I know," He laughed, "You can thank me by making dinner."

"Okay, you know what —"

"Sorry, I’ll only accept thanks in the form of food."

Hyukjae was thankful for moments like this. He was thankful for being able to laugh and forget sometimes. But most importantly he was thankful for Youngwoon and his weird ideas that somehow seemed to be the most logical solution to things. Befriending a police officer sounds like a suicide mission on the surface but it is a good way to free himself. Tomorrow he’ll start following this Lee Sungmin and he’ll try to figure the perfect time to approach him. In the first time in forever he is hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing new characters!! We have a name to our evil boss finally and also we have his trusty right hand. Also ew this is basically lots of dialogue and I'm hhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,,,
> 
> This chapter:  
> hj: breathes  
> rw: noted.


	3. Dangerous Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’ll call you later…" Hyukjae could only whisper, as if afraid of being heard by the trio of cops standing on the stairs of the station.

It has been honestly two years since Hyukjae had gone on a mission by himself. He wasn’t worried or nervous at all, he was just extremely bored of watching Lee Sungmin for the past four days. He sat in his car with the tinted windows rolled all the way up and a water bottle on his right hand. He could see Donghae’s Cadillac parked a few blocks away, empty. Today Donghae had decided he would walk around the perimeter and even came by a few hours ago out of pure boredom. Hyukjae had scolded him, sending him right back to his car after reminding him he was supposed to be working. "You want to get us caught, idiot?" Hyukjae had asked as he pinched his arm. Donghae had only laughed, rubbing his arm as he shook his head. After that little encounter that morning, Hyukjae’s time had been pretty boring.

Youngwoon called him during his break, just like he did everyday. Hyukjae asked him to talk about work, or just his coworkers. "Tell me something else, please." Hyukjae requested once again. "I have to go back to work soon, Hyuk…" Youngwoon couldn’t even finish saying Hyukjae’s name when said man just whined, his head resting on the wheel of his car. "Baby, this job is so boring… I bet this cop doesn’t even know shit about the gang…" He continued to whine as he looked towards the police station with his head still on the wheel. His whining stopped immediately as he saw three cops he recognized. Lee Sungmin, Shin Donghee and Kim Heechul. He had seen Donghee on Donghae’s file and Heechul on Jongwoon’s file some time ago. "I’ll call you later…" Hyukjae could only whisper, as if afraid of being heard by the trio of cops standing on the stairs of the station.

The shortest of the three turned around to look at Hyukjae’s car and panic took over him. He looked away to continue his conversation with the other cops and Hyukjae let out the breath he had been holding on. He waited some minutes and then he drove off hastily, driving past Donghae who looked confused. Hyukjae drove around for a while, so nervous that his hands were shaking and his knuckles went white from gripping the wheel so tight. He came back to the police station to find none of the three cops outside, so he parked a little farther away just in case. He drank all the water from his bottle at once, hearing the plastic getting crushed in his hands as he place the empty bottle in the cup holder.

He covered his face with his hands and as he looked up from them, he could see Donghae jogging up to his car. Donghae’s face had confusion written all over as he knocked on Hyukjae’s window. Hyukjae’s fingers stopped trembling as he rolled the window down to come face to face with Donghae, who kept asking him if he was alright. Hyukjae took a deep breath before he recounted what had just happened to Donghae, who raised an eyebrow and looked back at the station. "Let’s go home for today, and I’ll tell Jongwoon to stay. He’ll watch the three of them today, don’t worry." Donghae said, pulling his phone out of his pocket to call who Hyukjae assumed was Jongwoon. "Don’t. Don’t do that. I’ll stay and you both can leave. Only one of us needs to stay today for it to be safe." Hyukjae interrupted Donghae who was about to tell him to go home again. He continued to protest against Hyukjae’s idea while Hyukjae just refused to leave. They kept on bickering for what seemed like hours, when both of them got a text from Ryeowook telling them that the work day was over and to go home.

"Does he have eyes everywhere?" Donghae scratched his head as he looked at his phone and then around much more confused than he had been when Hyukjae drove off. "He probably drove by and saw the cops look at my car. Or Jongwoon told him what happened," Hyukjae shrugged as he stored his phone in his jacket’s pocket. "Or… he is an all-knowing being…" Donghae mumbled as he too pocketed his phone, turning to look back Hyukjae.

"Oh yes, sure… Kim Ryeowook came from another dimension…"

"Hey! Don’t mock me! I’m just saying… he knows everything that happens in the gang…"

"That is _literally_ his job, Donghae."

"No one can know _everything_ but he seems to just… do?"

"Goodbye, Hae. See you tomorrow," Hyukjae said as he started to roll the window up. "Goodbye to you too, asshole." Donghae answered as he walked away and towards his own car. Hyukjae chuckled to himself at the idea of Ryeowook being an all-knowing being as he drove home.

———

Day five of watching Lee Sungmin began really early in the morning, at 5 am to be precise. Hyukjae was unable to find his contacts’ case so he had to wear his glasses today… great, just great. He wasn’t very happy but at least he would be able to see. He left a note on Youngwoon’s nightstand, underneath his watch. " _I had to leave way too early today, I’m sorry. Call me before leaving for work! I can’t find my contacts… Let’s have dinner together again tonight -HJ_ " was written messily on the piece of paper. The only good thing about this boring job he had been assigned was that he was able to have dinner with Youngwoon that whole week, and somedays even lunch.

He decided to follow Lee Sungmin from his house to the station today, as he had decided today was the last day he’d be watching the man before reporting back to Kyuhyun. As he waited outside, he recognized the red car parked on Sungmin’s driveway. He had seen it at the preschool Youngwoon worked at a couple of times before. _So this man has children huh_ , Hyukjae thought to himself. Instead of writing it down or reporting it to Ryeowook immediately like he would’ve done in the past, he decided to keep that piece of information to himself. Truth is Hyukjae didn’t want an innocent child to suffer because of him, so he didn’t have the heart to even consider reporting said information to the boss or his right hand. After today was over, he would, without a doubt, report back to the boss and tell him Lee Sungmin showed no signs of even knowing the gang. It would be the truth.

If Hyukjae could prevent more innocent people from suffering he would be happy. As long as he works under Cho Kyuhyun, he will try to prevent suffering as much as possible. But is he really able to prevent such thing when that is his job? Hyukjae sighed. It was just barely 6 am and his head was already hurting.

As he was wrapped up by his thoughts, he noticed the front door of the police officer’s house open to reveal a sleepy looking Sungmin walking towards his car, the silver Maserati parked right beside the red car he had recognized earlier. Sungmin smiled so wide all of a sudden and as Hyukjae followed his line of vision, he saw his wife standing on the porch holding a tiny baby girl. The child waved excitedly to her father as he waved back with just as much enthusiasm. The mother was also smiling widely, holding her child with both of her arms.

Hyukjae smiled bitterly at the adorable sight in front of his eyes. He had always wanted children but with his current work situation it would be too dangerous for a child. Neither him nor Youngwoon were getting younger either. The older man could have had a normal family if it wasn’t for Hyukjae. A normal life with a normal house and a normal spouse. Each time he told Youngwoon this with a guilty expression, he would get a scolding from him and a "There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, dummy. You’re my home". He felt the sudden urge to cry, and he laughed at his pitiful self. "Ah, I’m getting old…" Hyukjae sighed wiping a stray tear away, careful not to dirty his glasses in the process. He had to look away from the family for a moment, then turned back just in time to watch Sungmin drive off.

He shook his head and answered the incoming call from Youngwoon. "Good morning, baby. How’s work?" Youngwoon asked, he sounded sleepy. Hyukjae could picture him in bed, rubbing his eyes and failing to hold in his yawns. "Good morning, sweetheart. It’s been boring…" Hyukjae cleared his throat.

"Lee Hyukjae, did something happen?"

"Not yet. Everything has been boring, I told you!"

"I hope everything stays boring then…" Youngwoon sighed, worry evident in his voice. He was always worried for Hyukjae and Hyukjae knew, even if he tried to hide it. They kept talking for a while, Hyukjae tried to make him stop worrying. Their conversation didn’t last long as Youngwoon had to shower and leave for work. He hung up with the promise of calling him during his break and a promise to cook Hyukjae’s favourite for dinner. Hyukjae sighed for the hundredth time that morning as he drove off to continue his job.

Lee Sungmin was on the move once more and so was him.

———

3 pm came sooner than Hyukjae had expected and he was glad — this meant Sungmin’s eight hour shift was officially done. All that was left to do was to follow him to his home and he was good to go. Hyukjae drove behind him at a close but safe distance, suddenly weirded out by the change of route. He continued following him for what seemed like hours until he parked by a dingy bar on the other side of the city.

"Is your life not perfect enough, Lee Sungmin?" Hyukjae mumbled as he parked his own car. He couldn’t understand why would this man with a seemingly perfect life would be entering a bar while the sun was still up. Hyukjae could only watch as the man walked out of his car, a very serious expression adorned his features. The man didn’t look around at all, he just went inside the bar unceremoniously. **A BAR? AT 4 PM? This man is weird** , he texted Donghae. **Even cops have their vices, I guess?? Idk** , was Donghae’s response. Hyukjae grunted as he got out of his car and into the bar.

As he walked inside he couldn’t see Sungmin anywhere. Strange. Hyukjae walked around slowly while checking up the place. It was basically empty at this time, except for some old men sitting in front of the tv while watching a replay of a random baseball game. The team Youngwoon liked was winning. Hyukjae smiled to himself as he sat by a corner, still looking around for the police officer. He got distracted by the game soon enough.

Someone sat beside him. "Hey there," The person greeted casually. Hyukjae turned around to greet the person just to find THE Lee Sungmin sitting right beside him. The man smiled and Hyukjae started to sweat. His mind was running wild with the thoughts of how to escape this situation without looking like a suspicious idiot. "Hey…" He answered without stuttering, thankfully. "I’ve seen you everywhere lately, so I had to confirm if you were actually following me," Sungmin explained as he vaguely moved his hands around as if to explain why they were currently at the bar, "so I would like to know who are you? Who are you working for? Why follow _me_ out of all people?"

How to answer all those questions without getting arrested. When had this man even noticed him? When had he seen him? Hyukjae’s windows are tinted, He couldn’t have been actually seen. "… I… I’m sorry? Come again?"

"Oh you heard me."

"You have the wrong person…?"

"Aren’t you the man driving the black Chrysler? The one that has been outside the station this entire week," Sungmin said, as he cocked his head to the side. Hyukjae stiffened up and raised an eyebrow at him. "Ah so I’m right, I see. Answer my questions then." Lee Sungmin was way too good at reading body language and Hyukjae felt cornered for the first time in years. What was this power that Sungmin exuded? He looked like a soft man but he wasn’t someone to mess around with. He reminded Hyukjae of Ryeowook somehow. Sungmin raised an eyebrow at Hyukjae, who looked straight into his eyes seemingly unbothered.

"My name is Lee Hyukjae," He began with a cocky smile adorning his face, watching Sungmin closely. Before saying anything else, he suddenly remembered what Youngwoon had suggested before: befriend the cop. He dropped his act and let the worry take over his features so quickly that Sungmin was actually taken aback. "I need your help, just - just listen to me please," Hyukjae basically begged, his eyebrows knitted together. "Hey it’s alright —"

"No, you don’t understand. It’s not okay. I am in a gang and there’s no way I can get out of there _alive_ without your help, okay? My boss would kill me and my loved ones… My boss… He was the one who ordered me to follow you," Hyukjae rambled, eyes locked onto Sungmin as if still asking him to listen, "You captured some of his men last month and he is really angry. I won’t tell my boss anything about you or this conversation but… just help me." After a minute of silence that felt like an eternity for Hyukjae, Sungmin finally spoke up and asked, "A gang?"

Hyukjae sighed. _So he didn’t know_. He took his time to explain the gang and the way they operated to Sungmin. He patiently listened to the explanation. Hyukjae thought that he was way too lucky not to be arrested by this cop at this point. "I just want to stop everything… I don’t care if I get arrested," Hyukjae ended his seemingly endless speech with a sigh of relief as he felt like a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Sungmin sat there, trying to process everything that just came out of his mouth. "I will help you out," the man finally said, and Hyukjae thought he might get whiplash from how fast he looked at him. He fixed his glasses and before he could even start speaking, Sungmin continued. "If we take out this gang together, then I might help you get your sentence reduced. How does it sound?"

"Wonderful. I’m in if you’re willing to keep your word," Hyukjae held a hand in front of Sungmin for him to take. "I like to keep my word," Sungmin answered and shook his hand. So it was set, and Hyukjae finally had a way out. Both men sat there, brainstorming about ways to carry out this dangerous plan. They exchanged contact information, Hyukjae saving his number under an alias just in case. Just as he was about to leave, he decided to warn the officer. "Your coworkers, Shin Donghee and Kim Heechul, are being followed too."

"Thanks for the warning, Hyukjae,"

"Don’t thank me for that. Goodbye," and with that he was gone, without even waiting for Sungmin’s response. Today had felt like a rollercoaster of emotions and he was ready to get home. He just wanted to sleep for three days without having to worry about Cho Kyuhyun or Kim Ryeowook, or that stupid written report he had to submit to them about his findings about Lee Sungmin. He thought about what he would write for that on his way home, ignoring Donghae’s texts asking about ' _the cop and the ba_ r'. He would call anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter titles are mostly going to be song references from now on, just like the title tbh~  
> this one is literally a song by tvxq


	4. House of Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don’t think I need to tell you but —" Ryeowook began, taking the post-it note and showing it to a very annoyed looking Kyuhyun. "Yes, yes… you told me so. Your point?"

After a night of him not knowing what to write in the report he was supposed to turn in, Hyukjae found himself in front of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook again.

However, last night Youngwoon had insisted on helping him write the report and he _had_ to let him. "Your boss is a big-headed asshole," He had said as Hyukjae wrote down the information about Sungmin’s schedule, "I will break his legs and throw him off a cliff." Hyukjae couldn’t do anything but laugh since he wasn’t wrong about Kyuhyun. "You won’t be doing any of that, though," Hyukjae said as he readjusted his glasses and Youngwoon repeated his words while mocking his facial expression. "Just let me have _one_ fair fight with him,"

"With him there is no such thing as fair," Hyukjae pointed out as he finished writing a paragraph full of details on Sungmin’s schedule — at least just his morning shift. "I know but I just want to make him pay," Youngwoon sighed, taking over Hyukjae’s laptop and going through what he was writing. Hyukjae ran a hand through his hair as he read through Hyukjae’s report. Youngwoon fell asleep on the couch with his head resting on Hyukjae’s shoulder as the other man struggled to stay awake.

All their efforts paid off as Ryeowook, who was the one looking through the report, seemed impressed and very pleased. "So tell us, Hyukjae, does Mr. Lee know anything about us?" Kyuhyun inquired, looking at Hyukjae’s every movement with his sharp eyes. Hyukjae hesitated before he began to relay the information to Kyuhyun, trying to act as professional as possible. He was fidgeting slowly with the hem of his tie as he spoke, avoiding making any sort of eye contact with Ryeowook completely. Said man raised an eyebrow as he took notice of Hyukjae’s behaviour, his hand firm on Kyuhyun’s shoulder and squeezing it every once in a while. Hyukjae would stiffen a little with every squeeze he noticed. "I’ve come to the conclusion that Lee Sungmin doesn’t know the gang at all, Mr. Cho," Hyukjae concluded his report, now seeming very confident. 

Kyuhyun seemed lost in his thoughts for a few seconds, and he was. He glanced at the post-it note with Hyukjae’s name on it that Ryeowook had written for him, and then looked back at Hyukjae, who seemed to be waiting for something. "Thank you, Hyukjae. You can leave now," Kyuhyun dismissed him quickly. As Hyukjae left the room, he couldn’t help but notice the glint in both men’s eyes.

Once the door was shut, Kyuhyun turned his chair to look at Ryeowook, who had this _'I told you so_ ' look to his face — Kyuhyun hated that look. "Don’t look at me like that," Kyuhyun pointed a finger at his right hand who began to laugh right to his face. He sat on the desk, a foot perched up on Kyuhyun’s chair. "I don’t think I need to tell you but —" Ryeowook began, taking the post-it note and showing it to a very annoyed looking Kyuhyun. "Yes, yes… you told me so. Your point?"

"Hmm. Feisty."

"Leave me alone,"

"You wouldn’t survive on your own, sweetheart," Ryeowook continued to laugh loudly as Kyuhyun held his head as if he had the biggest headache known to man. His headache, however, was not caused by his right hand but by his growing suspicions over Lee Hyukjae. _How many years has he worked for me?_ He surely knew to follow his gut feeling over these little behaviour anomalies on his employees. _What is he planning?_ Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be good for him and Kyuhyun knew it all too well. "What are you thinking?"

"Call Donghae for me,"

"Anyone else?"

"Hm, whoever you consider capable,"

"Alright, as you wish."

———

Donghae was apprehensively staring at Kyuhyun while mindlessly playing with a strand of his long hair, trying to calm himself down. "What do you mean my next job is Hyukjae, sir?" He questioned after clearing his throat, still in disbelief by said request. "Just like you heard. He has been acting rather strange lately so I _just_ want you to keep an eye on him," Kyuhyun explained rapidly and basically repeating himself to the hesitant man, "Another one of my men has been assigned to follow Kim Youngwoon, don’t worry. All you have to do is watch Hyukjae’s every movement and not tell him anything about this, understood?" 

Donghae placed the stray strand of his hair behind his ear gently. " _Understood_." Both of his hands were balled into tight fists, placed by either side of him as if trying to hold himself back. This was the most unbelievable thing his boss had ever asked of him and he wasn’t happy about it. Hyukjae was his best friend and brother, how could he keep silent about this? But then, if he dared to disobey Kyuhyun then both of them would be in serious danger.

Donghae walked out of the office, lost in his thoughts, once dismissed by a seemingly unconcerned Kyuhyun. How could Donghae not be so stressed about this whole situation? He felt as if he was betraying his brother by just keeping this conversation to himself. He knew that Hyukjae wasn’t planning anything that would put anyone in danger — even if he was, then Donghae would prefer helping him over telling anything to Kyuhyun. He hooked a finger into his turtleneck, tugging the fabric away from his neck.

After a while of aimless roaming through the halls of the two-story building where the gang operated, he dropped to the ground in a lonely corner on the second floor. His thoughts were plagued with _what ifs_ that would just run around like wild horses and his heart felt heavier than usual. His hair fell into his face as he looked down to the floor while thinking — he just needed to talk to someone. He needed to let this awful secret out to someone other than Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, who were both present.

"Donghae? What are you doing on the floor?" A concerned voice that sounded just like Siwon asked him. Donghae slowly raised his head to look at both Siwon and Jongwoon who were looking at him with a mixture of uncertainty and perplexity. "Hey, guys…" He greeted both of them, standing from the ground unhurriedly and patting down his pants to clean them from any sort of dust. "I know that face, what’s wrong?" Jongwoon skipped from greetings altogether, arms crossed and eyebrows knitted as he scanned Donghae’s face.

"It’s… promise not to tell anyone…" Donghae uttered carefully, pausing for both men to at least nod, "Mr. Cho thinks Hyukjae is planning something against the gang so he ordered me to keep watch over him. He also is having Youngwoon followed…" The frown on Jongwoon’s face deepened and Siwon’s eyes widened in disbelief at the ridiculous mission. "He might be an annoying punk but I don’t think he’s any sort of danger to this organization," Jongwoon spoke up first and Siwon followed, "Why is there a need to follow Youngwoon? He most likely has no idea of what’s going on. I don’t like this at all."

"You think I do?" Donghae groaned, massaging his temples as he spoke, "And what if mr. Cho is right? Am I supposed to turn my best friend in?" "If he’s right, helping that idiot is a better choice than telling Kyuhyun anything and you know it." Jongwoon seemed to be the only voice of reason in this twisted world sometimes. He only worked for the gang, but his loyalty lied with his friends. Donghae admired him for that and he knew Siwon and Hyukjae did too.

"Jongwoon is right, Hae…" Siwon placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly, "What are you going to do now?" "I will watch him like Mr. Cho asked me but I need to find a moment when I can speak to him," Donghae concluded still very much distressed over this whole situation. Since they won’t be assigned any jobs outside the building in all likelihood, he won’t be able to properly talk to Hyukjae without the looming fear of getting caught by Ryeowook. Donghae is also wary of texting or calling Hyukjae about it since it might seem suspicious to some — or maybe he was just overreacting.

All he hoped is that both Hyukjae and Youngwoon would be on the clear and free from the boss’ evil grasp. Cho Kyuhyun was a man to fear and he wouldn’t hesitate to order the murders of both Hyukjae and Youngwoon if anything was found. Donghae was tired of all the death that surrounded him and he wouldn’t bear to see his close friends hurt. He wouldn’t allow it. He would rather die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (house of wolves - mcr)
> 
> uh oh spaghettios,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


End file.
